As the final days of Autism Awareness Month draw to a close, I find myself sitting in the quiet of our home, reflecting on a year that can only be described as miraculous. For years, the world saw my daughter, Leila, through a lens of "limitations." They saw the diagnosis of autism; they saw the physical struggle of apraxia; they saw a child who did not speak. But as her mother, I saw something else entirely. I saw a vibrant, complex, and brilliant mind locked behind a door that simply didn't have the right key.

It’s been a while since my last post, but if you’re raising a child with a disability, you already know the drill: the constant advocacy and daily support for your family often leave little room for much else. However, I have some incredible news to share. L is now 7 years old, and 9 months ago, she found her voice. After starting with spelling boards when she was 5, at six and a half, she started openly communicating her thoughts, feelings, and needs. First on a letterboard, then transitioned to a keyboard and now she can even type directly on her iPad. It has been a long process, for both her and us but it has been a total game-changer for our family, and I can't wait to dive deeper into that journey in my next blog.

I wanted to address ABA now as I Know there is a lot of commentary and negativity around ABA even regarding my blogs and parents refusing to read it because it is associated with ABA. The ABA method is recommended by Medical experts for children with autism in many countries like Canada, USA, and Norway. I understand that the main controversies around ABA are because of how it originally started and how it was repetitive and equally used rewards and punishment, instilled fear and was cruel. However, that is not what it is today, and it is not the type of ABA that L has received. The ABA program L received was play based therapy and used positive reinforcement and was all based around her motivators. She was never punished. Therapists take something away if it is harming L or if used when she was having a tantrum. Most parents would never reward behaviour like that with their children. With L if we gave into problem behaviour like that, which we did prior to ABA, it made her behaviour worsen daily, and made it unbearable. I don’t think a child that is screaming for hours of the day is happy and that is what ABA changed for us. ABA is not a one size fits all children approach and good BCBA's (Board Certified Behaviour Analysts) will work with families to develop the best program for a child based on their specific needs.

L's Journey with ABA

L was delivered naturally (though a very traumatic birth for me) and was born a healthy little girl in 2018, joining her 13 month old sister. I have always wondered if the trauma I went through during her birth impacted her. Other than a viral meningitis scare at 3 weeks where she was hospitalised, she was a very happy and engaged baby and hit all her milestones, even walking early at 10 months. This all changed when she was about 17 months old, I don't get how or why but it felt like within a month she was slipping away into her own little world. She stopped engaging with her sister, my husband and me. She would not turn if you called her name, she wouldn't make any eye contact and she stopped saying the few words that she had started to say like daddy and mama.

Today I am sharing for the first time on social media about my 2nd daughter's Autism. I am starting this blog to share our experience and have a platform for parents in similar circumstances to my family. I am from Orange County, California and have been living in the London for 12 years, which added an additional challenge in knowing how to find the right support and services.